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Lost: Track of Time – Found: 7 year anniversary

2 Aug

Wow, time sure does fly quickly. Tomorrow is my 7th wedding anniversary. We cannot believe it has been 7 years already, it feels like 2! We are still madly and deeply in love with each other, still enjoy each others company and still have sex…good sex! Important things for a marriage to last and be a good one. We’ve transitioned into parenthood very well, still making time for each other and not just making it all about our little girl.

As I reminisce about our wedding, I thought it would be a good time to share the story of our wedding and wedding night. We have never been conventional or “normal” people, we’ve had our share of drama so when we got engaged after being apart for 10 weeks, then married 3 weeks after that, it didn’t really come as a shock to our families. We got married on the beach in Mexico in August at high noon, can you say HOT!!!! That was nuts, but we did it. After it was all over we swapped our dress up clothes for our swimsuits and hit the swim-up bar pool. This is where we parked ourselves for the afternoon. The stress of the day left us little time to eat, we drank instead. My husband was having a great time, we had met a lovely couple from England and we were chatting away, at 5pm it was time to head back to the room to get cleaned up for our wedding dinner on the beach. I think it took 3 guys to help my new hubby out of the pool, and then he basically piggy backed on me to stumble back to our room, he was hammered!

I didn’t think he was as bad off as he was, I went to use the bathroom first and when I came out I had a naked man sprawled on my bed and vomit all over the nice white bedding! LOVELY! This is quite the turn-on for the wedding night! He was out cold. So I wasn’t going to sit there and miss out on dinner, I was starving, we paid a lot for the meal, so I got dressed up and walked down to the beach alone, where I sat and enjoyed my meal, sans hubby! A little embarrassing but, oh well, what’s a girl to do! He didn’t do it on purpose and I knew I was in for some MAJOR sucking up, so I took it with stride.

Now every year on our anniversary I remind him of how he missed our wedding dinner and wedding night entirely, he still feels bad to this day, the story just makes me laugh.

To my husband: I love you more and more with each passing day, there is no one else on this earth I would rather spend my life with. I love you!

Happy 7th Anniversary!

Lost: Luck – Found: Lucky 13

13 Jul

It’s Friday the 13th today!

If you are superstitious this might not be your day but for my husband and I, 13 holds a special place in our heart! If you aren’t into psychics this might be hard for you to swallow, but bear with me. My husband and I, even before we were a couple, enjoyed going to psychics. For entertainment purposes, and the possibility that they might actually get something right. Most of the ones we have been to have been right with either our past, present or futures. I do believe there must be something to it, how else could a complete stranger know such intimate details about another’s life, things that even close family and friends don’t know?

My husband and his first wife went to a psychic and that woman told them together that they would get a divorce, he would manage a warehouse one day, that her number was 5 and his was 13. They laughed off the divorce and warehouse stuff because at the time they were happy in their marriage and he was a musician with a recording contract. They really focused on the numbers. The number 5 rang very true for his now ex-wife. They were married on May 5th (5/5), both of their children were born on the 5th of month, and the list goes on and on. Very cool. His number according to this woman was 13.  It wasn’t until later in his life that the number 13 started to make sense to him. You see, my husband and I are 13 years apart, we were married in August 2005 (8 + 5 = 13), our old house number totalled 13, little things in our life seem to surround the number 13. Interesting. Well then ultimately, the divorce prediction for him and his first wife did come true, and at that time he was managing a warehouse. The psychic’s prediction didn’t cross his mind until one day he was sitting at work and it dawned on him and he was amazed. Another psychic he went to see would read people’s handwriting, so he took a couple of signed documents from work ( I used to work with him), this lady looked at my signature and told him “she truly loves you”. Boy, was she right! I think it still took him 4 years after that to realize it himself, but he eventually got it!…LOL, I certainly do “truly” love him.

All of this ties into our belief that everything happens for a reason! So today on this Friday the 13th, don’t be frightened enjoy the uniqueness of the day and go buy a lottery ticket, because you just never know!

Happy 13th! 🙂

Lost: Security – Found: Blankey

10 Jul

When I was young, really little, I was given a gift by one of my mother’s friends. A quilt. Little did this woman know this would be the greatest gift I would ever receive as a child. It wasn’t just a quilt, or a blanket to me. It was my security, my comfort. Growing up with a mother with bi-polar, or manic depression as it was called back then and a father who didn’t want to be around much to deal with her or his children, left little in the way of love, caring and comforting for me as the baby in the family.

Eventually, I wore out this blankey, it literally disintegrated in the wash it was so worn out. My mother never told me she just threw it out, and when I went looking for it she finally had to break the news. I was devastated and immediately scoured the house for a replacement…found one! Wore that one out, found another replacement, they seemed to last for 8 years or so, then needed replacing. My mother would joke when I was getting into my teens and still sleeping with a blankey, that I was going to take that silly thing on my honeymoon. She was right! I took it on both of my honeymoons, thank you very much! I took it with me to the hospital to give birth to my first child too! I’m 35 years old and still sleep with a blankey! I’m not ashamed in the least. If my “habit” is sleeping with a blanket at night, who am I hurting? Does it give off second hand smoke? I don’t think so, it’s probably the safest habit I could have. I certainly enjoy it.

The lady who bought me my first blanket passed away when I was only 12, she was a family friend, and I don’t know how I would’ve made it through growing up without it. So thank you!

Lost: Money – Found: Debt

5 Jul

Well, I guess I should fess up, I didn’t lose any money per say, I spent it! Lot’s of it, on crap I don’t really, truly need. You see, I am a shop-a-holic! I know it, I accept it and try to prevent it as much as possible, sometimes I can, other times, not so much. I have suffered with depression in the past and if I’m not careful could quickly end up back in the “black hole”. When things get me down or upset me or stress me out, etc, I feel the need to shop, buy something to make myself feel better. It does for a brief moment and then I realize that I couldn’t afford to buy “X” and feel guilty and bad about myself for doing so, and the cycle repeats itself. Getting a bit older and having a house, spouse, child and future to worry about I have really tried to be better with my money by creating a budget and sticking to it for the most part, but there are times when I just say “charge it’. Credit cards in my opinion are a necessary evil. I couldn’t live without a credit card, I do too much online shopping for that to ever happen, and then there is always the “what if?”. I don’t always have a ton of cash on hand and “what if something happened and I needed to pay for unexpected car repairs? for example.

I don’t have a huge credit limit, because I know I have to keep myself in check, learned that lesson the hard way years ago! I would just keep going until Mr. Visa said STOP!

I’m paying off my sins little by little, and that’s what I’m using as my “feel good” now. I feel good when I see the credit card bill going down now, that makes me feel better, as opposed to putting things on it. I take it day-by-day. Two more pay checks and my credit card will be paid off, then I just have to work on paying off my line of credit, slowly but surely I will do it!

Found: Dog – Lost: Dog

26 Jun

This post will explain why we got a third dog and why we ended up with just 2.

My husband and I are dog lovers, animal lovers, really. Two weeks before getting married we were dog shopping for a Maltese and found a little girl who fell in love with my husband at first sight. Our plan was to pick her up from the breeder after we were back from our weddingmoon. My husband, being the big tough guy that he is, couldn’t leave her there and wanted to bring her home that day. So there started our venture into puppyhood! That was July 2005. Fast forward to the following May, and we loved our Maltese, Elly, so much we wanted her to have a companion. I simply wanted to clone the perfect dog we already had, my husband, had other ideas.

I had been teaching an evening fitness class at our local community center and was heading to my car when my hubby and two stepsons pulled up in the car, my husband tells me he has someone he would like me to meet! Hmmm, really, who??? Who could this person of such importance be? Not a human person at least. A male, Bichon Frise, and at a pet store of all places!!!! This guy had 3 strikes against him and I hadn’t even met him yet. What kind of stepmom would I be if I didn’t go and see this creature at least? Off we go!

It wouldn’t have mattered if he was the most perfect dog in the world, he wasn’t in my eyes because I only wanted what I wanted and that was another Elly. Well, the little guy from the pet store somehow made his way into the hearts of the 3 boys I was living with, so I was out numbered. That Bichon became our Jed.  Now we had Elly May and Jed! Our own version of the Beverly Hillbillies! Jed quickly became “my” dog, and was a huge mama’s boy and suck. Requiring loads of attention, specifically my attention. Which was fine with me, afterall, my biological clock was ticking and I was desperate to have someone to look after, who really needed me. That was Jed’s purpose in life with us, I would later come to realize.

Now we fast forward again to October 2008. After we got Jed from the pet store I would frequent the store if I was in the area to look at the puppies and leave. In July of 2008 I did one of my “stop ins”. This time it wasn’t so easy to leave. There was a Shih-Tzu in a cage all alone, big brown eyes, looked at me once and had my heart. I left knowing (hoping) he would go to a good home soon. A few weeks later I stopped in again, and he was still there, now his hair was longer and he wasn’t looking as cute and spry as he did weeks earlier. I left again, hoping he wouldn’t be there the next time I came in. It was almost 5 weeks later, October and I stopped by again, now to see if he was still there or not, I had already told my husband about him, along with family and friends, in hopes someone would have a heart and go and get him. My husband actually had called the manager of the store and talked him down in the price, but ultimately decided we are crazy to think 3 dogs is a sane idea. I go into the store anyway, and there he is. Now he looks dirty, longer hair, thin, lethargic…something is wrong with this dog. Nobody is going to buy a dog who looks sick and dirty! WTF!!!

I run crying to my husband and few stores down to tell him, and we both march into the store and demand to get that dog out of there, right now! He was coming home with us, obviously that is where he was meant to be, it just took us a couple of months to figure it out. That Shih-Tzu became known as Gizmo in our family. Once we got him well and cleaned up, he quickly became a very well behaved, loving boy.

Now comes the hard part, and one that I didn’t understand until now. Jed (Bichon), was my dog, no question, loving, and protective of me, his Mom. When I gave birth to our daughter I wasn’t sure how the whole baby thing would go over with him. My biggest fears were realized when Jed snapped at my daughter while I was burping her at 3 months old. She was on my lap and Jed was beside me. I didn’t reach her, but just the thought that he could’ve sent me into a panic. He wasn’t really good with other kids and we would keep him away from kids on walks, etc, but we thought and hoped it would be different with our own. Not the case. So we had to send him to a foster home to later be adopted to a home without children. It was extremely hard to say goodbye to my boy, but we had no choice. I wouldn’t risk my child’s safety.

Jed was in our life and specifically my life for a reason, a wonderful reason. To bridge the gap between the biological clock ticking and when I actually became a mother. He was my “fur baby” for 4 years before my daughter came along, he needed me as much as I needed him. For that I will always hold a special place in my heart for him and will never forget him. Gizmo came into our life when he did to be a companion for Elly when Jed left. Just like we had always planned from the beginning, we wanted her to have a “friend”.

Ultimately now, we all have exactly what we need in life, Jed got adopted to a good home, we have our daughter and Elly has her buddy Gizmo. Everything really does happen for a reason.

Lost: Faith – Found: Religion

25 Jun

ImageI was never religious growing up, it wasn’t something we did as a family ever, go to church. My husband is Catholic and was brought up going to church every Sunday, singing in the choir along with his siblings. Then the poor guy meets me and my skepticism of the whole Catholic religion. He has 2 older boys from a previous marriage, they went to Catholic school, although didn’t attend church regularly. I guess if you get it during school you don’t need it on Sunday too?

My issue with the religion was the constant stories of Priest’s acting inappropriately with young children, sexual abuse and molestation. It was extremely disheartening to hear that someone in a position of power, in a place of “God” no less was doing this. Not just one, many. It became a heated topic in our household. When I got pregnant with our daughter, I told my husband and his parents that there was no way that she would see the inside of a Catholic church. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for people finding what works for them with-respect-to religion. Whatever you choose or don’t choose is great, this is a free country. For me personally this is how I feel.

Additionally, I have a problem with any religion that tells me that another human being is “less than”. For example, gay people. Gays are no less than anyone else on this earth, after all, God made us all, didn’t he? If that is supposed to be true, and God makes no mistakes, then…. see where I’m going with this? Right, so I like to keep with my values, and participate in a community that is accepting of everyone, no matter what colour, nationality, sexual orientation, etc. Acceptance of all is my favourite kind of religion.

Throughout our journeys from church to church we finally found our “home”. A place where I felt comfortable, for the first time ever inside the walls of a church. A place where I could feel comfortable taking my daughter and participating freely, by being myself and not feeling badly. Do you ever get that bad, guilty feeling when you go to church?  Then you are not in the right place. It should be a “feel good” place, uplifting and enjoyable, otherwise why would you leave your bed early on a Sunday morning?

My husband and I may have lost faith in Catholicism, but we did find a new place where we feel comfortable as a family!

Lost: My Temper – Found: Patience

22 Jun

I come from and eclectic, fiery background. I’m a quarter each of Italian, German, Irish and French. I guess it’s no surprise that I would have a temper in there somewhere. I was definitely shown what a temper was from my mother growing up, she was insane (literally). One minute she would be calm, normal, the next screaming, yelling, swearing, and hitting! I always knew growing up that I never wanted to be that way to my kids, never, ever! It was horrible. I went through a tough time in my twenties with my emotions and had some nasty outbursts with my temper, and felt completely out of control.  Now that I’m reflecting back on it, it could’ve been totally hormonal.

I’m actually shocked at how much patience I have now, after becoming a mother. I haven’t had an issue with my temper at all since being pregnant. In fact, the amount of patience I have astounds me sometimes! I’m so grateful for my new-found patience. Don’t get me wrong things still bother me and stupid people are one of them…LOL! I haven’t grown patience for them yet. For my child and family I have an over abundance and that is fantastic.

I’m so glad I lost my temper when I did, now I have all the patience I need.

Lost: My cool (apparently) – Found: Granny Panties

19 Jun

I know most mom’s will be able to relate to this, well at least I hope so. I have 2 older sisters and my oldest, who is 12 years my senior, is the most fashionable out of all of us. She always was, she’s one of those mom’s who never lost her cool. The other day I went out shopping for myself for a change. I picked up a couple of new tops (on sale of course), I was pretty excited about them, they were colourful and I thought “in style”.

My oldest sister came by for a visit, and commented on my shirt and my whole outfit saying how it makes me look like a grandmother and it’s too big, etc. She’s a size zero and I’m a size 16! I don’t want to be showing my rolls and flab to everyone is tight, form-fitting clothes, so I buy tops that have some give. Most styles today are “flowy” and I appreciate that. My sister doesnt’. I was so excited about my new top too. Well not anymore. 😦

When I was pregnant, I did away with my thongs and opted for the comfy, full coverage of a granny panty, why stop there! Feeling comfortable is important to me, looking good now comes second, sadly. I hope it won’t always be this way, but until I figure out what I’m doing with my body (having baby #2 or committing to losing the weight) then comfort is where it is at!

My husband, being the wonderful man that he is, loves me in my granny panties or not…lol!

I do remember the days when I was a size 4, could where anything, a bikini and rocked it. I’m glad I have those memories and photos, but for this moment, I’m glad I have my granny panties to cover my Kardashian-esque booty!

Lost: My Virginity – Found: My first husband

17 Jun

In keeping with my random rants about lost and found, I thought why not go old school for this one.

I was 16 years old when I lost my virginity and it happened to be with my long-term highschool boyfriend. Keeping up the tradition set by my older sisters, they both married their highschool sweethearts. For some reason I felt I had to do the same. After all, I had done the deed with this guy, so of course we should marry, right?

Ummm, HELL NO!  If I could go back and tell my teenage-self something, I would say, ditch this guy, enjoy your teens and have fun with the girls, go places, meet all kinds of people and live a little, soon life will find you and kick you in the ass, then you’ll get fat! 🙂

I’m not advocating for pre-marital sex, however, when my daughter wants to get married, I will make sure she has tried him on for size, I guess I should say him/her, just never know, either way, try them on see how they feel, do they do it for ya or not? If we expect marriages to last a lifetime then it better be freaking good, don’t you agree?

You have to try a couple or more on before you find the right fit, have some fun before you find “the one”, don’t rush it, be safe and enjoy yourself. Life is too short to live with regrets!

I found my second husband, after divorcing my first husband and trying on some different fits, my husband is the best lover, friend, care giver and support I’ve ever known, he may not have been the first, but he will be the last!

Lost: A few balls – Found: My swing

15 Jun

I just got home from an afternoon on the links with my work.  I haven’t golfed in three years, and had forgotten how much I enjoyed it. I’m not a great golfer, but I’m not bad, especially since I don’t get out very much at all.  I do enjoy the drinking part. It’s just nice to get out and enjoy yourself once in a while. It’s amazing how caught up in the day-to-day stuff that we actually forget to live!

I may have lost a few balls today, but I found my zest for life. Not that I don’t enjoy my life now, it’s just making time to have fun, go golfing, have a picnic, go to the drive-in. We make time for everything else, but when do we pencil in “fun” time?

The pencil is out, and I am penciling in some fun-time!!!

You should too!